Warm and Fuzzy

I'm sitting here on our living room couch with my beloved husband. We both have cups of chai tea and laptops on our laps. Up until a few minutes ago, the snow was swirling devilishly outside our huge windows. I can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

After all this gloom and doom dread, I'm realizing that snow in early-April really isn't that bad. I just suddenly feel ridiculously grateful. Life is good. Sure it sucks that Chicago's winter seems to never end, but without this long period of dreary cold (Erin, your recent blog post inspired me) how would I truly appreciate the beauty of the summer? This 6 month plunge into the ice age will only make the warmth of June so much sweeter.

I have always embraced the notion that the key to being happy is to embrace an attitude of gratefulness. Everything else falls into place after that. Of course, adopting that eternally positive attitude at all times is a challenge, but it really is life's elixir.

This weekend was wonderful. Friday night I cooked kimchi jigae, at the request of my husband, after finding a recipe on the web. I strayed from the recipe by adding ground turkey instead of slices of pork (totally non-Kosher. Koreans, unless you're in my family, love their pork!). We had a nice night in. It's funny. We always seem to have these ambitious plans to go out to dinner/a club/other fun activity on Friday nights but they never seem to materialize. We just seem to be too tired on Fridays to leave the comfy confines of our home. Maybe when the weather gets better, we'll overcome our tiredness to venture out more on Fridays.

On Saturday, I enjoyed a rare girl-centric day. I went with a girlfriend to get manicures and drink wine flights afterward. We chatted up a storm and I had so much fun. I really miss having my girlfriends around. I have made very little effort to meet new girlfriends in this town and I'm feeling the effects of withdrawal from not having meaningful interactions with other women. I will have to get my butt out of this house and make more of an effort.

Today, Sunday, my husband and I grabbed brunch at one of my favorite breakfast spots in our hood, Hot Chocolate. It was such a memorable experience, that I had to write about it as soon as I got home. If you feel like checking it out, here is my Yelp review.

http://www.yelp.com/biz/hot-chocolate-chicago#hrid:govqyMsh8zK8cndKzou6JA/src:self

I swear, the food was so good I was kind of in a trance/zone...I'm not too impressed by food at restaurants that often anymore, so this was really good.

After we ate, we walked around the neighborhood window shopping and ducking into a few random stores here and there. Eerily, the streets felt a bit like a ghost town...there were very few people out and about. The few stores that we did enter, we were usually the only people in the stores. At first, my mind immediately chalked it up to the blasted economy. However, one of the sales clerks attributed the slow foot traffic to the reports of imminent sleet and snow. Apparently Chicagoans' hopes of a warm April Sunday had been dashed and they were too bitter to leave their homes. I believe the words she used were "hunkering down." I thought only people in the South said that?

The sales clerks seemed abnormally talkative (as if we were the only human interaction they had had in a while. I guess you can only gaze admiringly at your own inventory or surf the internet for so many hours)but they were all really nice and friendly. One lady, when she found out I was an attorney, even went out of the way to give me the contact info of her legal-recruiter friend. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I would rather stick a hot poker in my eye than go back to the law (yet, very schizophrenic and telling that I still identify myself as an attorney ). This species of friendliness oozes out of the Chicagoans we meet. Or maybe we are just supremely likeable. ;)

When we left the last store, we saw how ominous the sky looked and realized that we would have to outrun the oncoming storm since we were sans umbrella. We walked a bit faster, but, in all honesty, I didn't mind the bitter cold or the sleet that eventually pelted our vulnerable, hatless heads. It was fun and it was our little Wicker Park adventure as we ran hand-in-hand back home (ok, the hand-in-hand part didn't actually happen the whole way home, but it sounded good. C'mon, this is Chicago. It's rare that we remove our hands out of the warm depths of our pockets).

When we got home, we cranked up the heat and bundled up under our chenille throw. Only a few hours later did the beautiful snowflakes begin to flurry wildly outside our window. We didn't mind. We were inside, warm, and blessed to have the option to go inside to escape the cold. I'm trying to see the beauty of this early April snowstorm weather, and I'm getting there.

None of this means that I have stopped my intense longing for the day when I can venture outside without strategizing my layers. I'm just realizing that life is so much more than the weather and learning to appreciate whatever is thrown our way.

Let's hope that this coming week will be filled with productivity.

And gratitude.

April snow showers bring...April indignation...which begets April motivation

Yes, the forecast does say snow on Monday. For a girl like me who has lived in hot, humid Houston for most of her life, that is more than a little mind-boggling.

When our first Chicago winter approached last fall, I was prepared and had been well-versed on the importance of layering, warm boots, and windshield wiper fluid. "You can forget about the cute little wool pea coats," I was warned. Instead, I was to prepare myself for floor-length puffer coats and Chewbacca boots.

To be honest, I actually welcomed a change of climate and scenery. I enjoyed the novelty of watching the leaves change to golden hues of orange and red and seeing my first real snowfall. I reveled at this opportunity to wear coats, scarves, and boots that had been hibernating for years, waiting for this occasion. But now, as April is upon us, I feel that things have gotten a little out of control.

I am tired of being cold. I am tired of coats and furry boots. I am tired of the snow/sleet/rain. I just want some warmth and sunshine. I want to wear sundresses and open-toe shoes.

I think I now officially know why last summer, when we first arrived to Chicago, everyone in the city seemed so happy and alive. Someone explained to us that Chicagoans don't take the summer for granted. Every warm and sunny day is exploited to its full potential: Cubs games at Wrigley Field, volleyball by the lake, outdoor barbecues, hundreds of outdoor festivals covering every art form under the sun, etc. I didn't completely get the city's rapture with summer at the time (everyday was summer in Houston), but now, I SO get it.

So, anyway, I just had to get that out of my system.

Moving on...

In my last post, I revealed that I have woefully discovered that I have not been as productive as I would have liked these past eleven months. Shouldn't I have something tangible to show for all this...time?

My first step to a "new, better you," I mean "me," is to write a schedule. Hopefully that will get me to do at least one productive thing daily. Of course, that begs the question: what, exactly, constitutes productive?

Ok, productive for me will mean trying to do the following:

1. Something remotely physical: walking up and down the stairs to check the mail WILL NOT count. Maybe I can run around my neighborhood when it starts to warm up. Until then, I will have to rely on Fit TV and its awful 80's inspired workout shows.

2. Write something every day: It doesn't matter what. Just write.

3. Read a book every week.

4. Try not to be such a hermit. Winter in this city tends to make hibernators out of people that aren't hibernators by nature. I'm going to have to break out of this rut soon, especially since I moved here not knowing a single soul other than my dear husband. I need to make more of an effort to meet girlfriends. I plan on joining a few meetup groups and see where that takes me.

5. Sleep less. I have been unapologetic and super indulgent with my hours of sleep (mainly because I have been frightened by horror stories of sleep deprivation from all of my friends who are moms. I have been trying to take advantage of this glorious, uninterrupted sleep while it's still a viable option for me). However, it's time to be a little less indulgent. My goal now is to wake up with Brandon in the morning and NOT crawl back into bed after he leaves. But the soft, fluffy comforter is an evil temptress...so we'll see how this turns out.

6. Be more spontaneous and say "yes" more often: Brandon will often call me from work and ask me to join him for a drink or to watch a soccer game at a downtown bar. I am a sucker for routine and, not wanting to make the effort to get on the train and journey downtown, I usually decline. I plan my dinners a week before, and God forbid that anything get in the way of sticking to the plan. This sad adherence to routine has got to change. I took my first step a few nights ago when Brandon called me and convinced me to go out to a Korean restaurant with him and a co-worker of his. We never go out to dinner on a Wednesday night, so this was a small way for me to break out of my routine and say yes more often.

7. Try something new, step outside of my comfort zone every week: I have already embarked on this goal with little baby steps like taking a sewing class and teaching myself how to cook.

8. Explore Chicago. I live in such an amazing city with so much to offer but we seem to do the same thing every weekend (go out to dinner, have friends over to our place, stay in the same neighborhoods). My goal is to branch out more: visit the art museums, take an architectural boat cruise, go to Chinatown, etc.

9. Become more involved and tap into more creative outlets: I am planning on auditioning for a choral ensemble or choir, I want to take a random pottery or jewelry making class, I want to volunteer more.

10. Think long term and make decisions about what my next career path may be. Full-time mother? Event planner? Freelance writer?

11. Just relax and enjoy my time off. This, as you can clearly see, is actually going to be the hardest goal to accomplish.


I have to stop blaming the weather for my lack of motivation/inspiration. Hopefully, my muse will be invoked soon.

How to Save a Life

I am approaching my one year anniversary of my retirement from the legal profession. (cue bells, whistles, hoorays, and other general shouts of glee)

Around this time last year, I was tying up lose ends in Houston, saying my goodbyes to people at the courthouse, having tearful goodbyes with old friends, packing diligently, and thanking my lucky stars that I would never have to practice law again. My husband and I were preparing for our cross-country drive to our new home in Chicago. I was really excited about embarking on our new adventure together and for the big change that awaited: Goodbye "Sae, the Lawyer"; hello "Sae, the Lady of Leisure".

I figure this is the perfect time to reflect on how I have spent the past eleven months. In a weird way, I want to hold myself accountable. What do I have to show for this period of my life that I like to think of as "the Renaissance" (yes, my attorney days were the "Dark Ages")?

My purpose is more than just to somehow convince myself that I have not squandered away my months in indulgence and laziness. No, I am opening up honestly about the last eleven months in hopes that it can serve as a social experiment of sorts, or, at least, an informative distraction. I am sure that a lot of my friends who fall under my previous demographic of "working, professionals" are at least slightly curious. What does a person, who has no real responsibilities or parameters on how to spend her time, do with her days?

Well, here is my attempt to discover a sliver of substance and accomplishment...

May 2008- Adjusted to new home, new city (dealt with setting up, connecting, mounting, redoing, fixing, furnishing, decorating, new house stuff, new DL stuff, auto and bank stuff etc.) Ok, this is acceptable. Everyone has to do this "housekeeping" stuff when you first transplant yourself to a new city.

June2008- July 2008- BAR EXAM. Brandon studied while I did my best to learn how to cook and take care of him for those brutal 8 weeks of nonstop studying. I also traveled to Houston to help my father with his big move (packing, etc) and traveled to New York to help my sister with her move to Boston. I'd like to think that this was my selfless, giving months...so I'll but myself some slack here too.

August 2008- We hosted out of town friends, partied at Lollapalooza, went to some Cubs games, and started our long quest for window treatments. I subbed in for a co-ed softball team and struck out every time at bat. I traveled to visit my family in Boston at their new home. I spent almost every free moment in August planning our month long trip to South America. Hmmm...starting to get a little tricky here. I should have really done more with my time. I should have written more, seriously explored future career options. I spent a lot of time trying to perfect our trip...maybe I could have done less? The jury is still out on this month.

September 2008- We traveled through Peru and Argentina for 25 days and had an AMAZING time. We explored the ruins of Machu Picchu, ate the best ceviche we have ever tasted in Lima, snowboarded in the mountains of Bariloche, gazed in awe at the majesty of Iguazu Falls and lived it up in the city of Buenos Aires. We also celebrated my birthday at a tango show in Buenos Aires! Que maravilloso! I have no regrets about this month. I wasn't going to soul-search or demand productivity from myself when I was drinking in all the sights and sounds of S. America. Even I, the queen of self-critique, have some limits.

October 2008- Celebrated the whole month upon finding out that Brandon had passed the Illinois bar exam. We were in Argentina when Lehman Brothers went under and shit was hitting the fan. Needless to say, we felt nervous throughout the whole trip and it was a big relief to find out that Brandon had passed the bar and still had a job. ;) We danced our hearts out at a Brazilian Girls concert, hosted more out of town friends, celebrated Brandon's bday, and dressed to the nines for the Sidley winter formal. Definitely could have done more this month...

November 2008- We watched the historic inauguration with friends and really felt a positive energy in the city. Brandon's mother came into town for Brandon's swearing in ceremony. I was at home alone (and a wee scared)for a week when Brandon had to go to New York for first year orientation. I bought a sewing machine (I had never touched a sewing machine before). We traveled to Boston to spend Thanksgiving with my family. Holidays are always a good excuse for a lack of productivity...

December 2008- Started having more social interactions with new friends (dinners, etc). Pulled my hair out while dealing with home builder for many weeks concerning home issues. Traveled to Houston for a nice long Christmas vacation. Spent our first New Year's Eve in our new city of Chicago. Holidays are always a good excuse for a lack of productivity...


January 2009- Ooh, this month is fuzzy at best. Wrote down a few resolutions. Had fun with friends. Yowzah...I could have written a freakin' novel during this month.

February 2009- Started this sporadic blogging adventure and committed myself to writing a little everyday(we all know how well that turned out). I was hired as a web content writer for my former Houston law firm. Ventured out and volunteer at a shelter for victims of domestic violence. Took my first ever sewing class and did something crafty for the first time in my life: I made a pillow! Went to a Bulls/Rockets game and cheered loudly for the Rockets. Hung out with friends (brunch, silly karaoke nights at our place, etc). Traveled to Boston for a week to spend time with family. Too little too late...

March 2009- We canceled plans right and left because of Brandon's heavy workload. One Friday night (after getting all dolled up), we ended up grabbing food from McDonald's because it got too late to have a nice dinner out. And as for me, what did I accomplish in March? I feel like the honest answer would be very little and, thus, the urgency of this post...

Ok, so after reflecting upon the past eleven months, I realize I have very little to show for this so-called Renaissance. However, I never intended to beat myself over it. I just want to stress that now is the time to be proactive and make a change... and that change starts...tomorrow.